


Born with a Tail

by pinkevilbob



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Demons, F/M, Human Sacrifice, Sort Of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-21 04:02:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21068501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkevilbob/pseuds/pinkevilbob
Summary: Caleb finds himself to be sacrificed to a horrible demon. Or at least that's what he thinks.





	Born with a Tail

**Author's Note:**

  * For [firbolging](https://archiveofourown.org/users/firbolging/gifts).

> It was Ani's birthday yesterday! WOO! She asked for something cute and creepy, so monsters! I'm super tired.
> 
> The title comes from Born with a Tail by the Supersuckers.

It was supposed to be a quick stop. Caleb and Nott would sneak into the village, may do a con or two, buy or perhaps steal some supplies, and then get out before anyone paid too close attention to them. Something they'd done together many times before, so they thought that this time would be the same. But they were noticed, but instead of getting arrested by guards or chased out with pitchforks, they were welcomed into the bar and given free drinks and a free meal, something neither of them could turn down. 

An obvious trap now that Caleb was looking back. The drinks or the food or maybe both were drugged. Nott passed out first, and Caleb soon followed her hearing something about a sacrifice as he lost consciousness.

When Caleb came to, he was gagged and tied to a pole in the middle of a clearing under a moonlit sky. He still had his coat and all his components, but with his hand tied up high and behind him, they were useless. Caleb struggled against the rope that bound him, but it was no use as the rope was too tight for him to escape. All Caleb could do was hope that Nott was someplace safe.

Loud humming filled the air. It almost sounded like the song the bard was playing in the tavern, but like the person humming it hadn't heard it in a long time and had forgotten how it went. Something entered the clearing and Caleb's blood froze. A demon of some sort stood there looking about. Even from a distance Caleb could tell that it was huge, easily bigger than even Eodwulf. Horns like those of a ram curled out of the sides of its head, framed by messy, curly hair. It stood on two legs that ended in great furred hooves, and a tail lashed about behind it. Caleb prayed to every god he could think of that it wouldn't notice him, but it made eye contact with him and he knew it was too late. With a blood curdling laugh, it skipped towards Caleb. Caleb paused. Skipped? Since when did demons skip?

The demon nearly skidded to a stop once it reached him. No, not it, she. Up close Caleb could see that the demon was very much female and wore a faded old dress. Barbs stuck out of her shoulders and lined her tail. "Oh, what are you doing out here?" Her voice was much lighter and kinder than Caleb had expected, but he couldn't help but notice the fangs that flashed behind her blue lips.

Caleb tried to plead for mercy, but the gag distorted all his words. 

"Oh, here." She went behind him filling Caleb with dread, but then he could feel the rope loosen around his wrists. He could also feel the light scratch of her claws. "Do do do do do," she sang softly. "And there you go all free!"

Caleb pulled his hands away quickly and tried to run, but his feet were still tied to the pole and instead he pitched forward.

"Uh oh." The demon caught him easily. She was soft, warm, and smelled of cinnamon. Everything that Caleb was told that demons weren't. "Careful. Sorry, I missed that one. Here." Shifting Caleb so he was propped up against her shoulder, she untied his feet. Her barbs pressed into his stomach, but they weren't sharp, only hard.

Pulling out his gag, Caleb took in a deep breath. "Are you going to eat me? I must warn you, I won't taste good and I'll be very stringy."

The demon stared at him. "Why the f#%* would I eat you?"

"You're not the kind of demon that eats people?" Caleb asked. She shook her head with disgust. "You're the kind of demon that seduces men." It all made sense. Well, not all of it. He had to admit that the demon was very cute, but Caleb wouldn't describe her as sensual or as someone that would drive men to distraction.

"I'm not a demon!" she shouted crossly. 

The air around Caleb grew cold and he could see ice crystals forming on his coat. "What are you then?"

"I'm just me," she said with a shrug. "I’m Jester.” There was sweetness to her voice.

“My name is Caleb Widogast,” he said. Maybe he shouldn’t give his name to a demon or rather a not-demon, but it wasn’t his real name. And perhaps part of him trusted her to not hurt him.

Jester smiled at him. “Wait, why were you tied up here? You're not a terrible criminal guilty of a thousand sins, are you?"

Caleb had to think on that. He was a terrible person, but he hadn't done anything to deserve being tied up in this town. Other towns yes, but not here. "They said something about a sacrifice."

"A sacrifice?" Jester frowned. "That's weird. There's nothing here except for like the village and some bears and bunnies here."

"I think the sacrifice was meant for you," Caleb said inching away from her. He wouldn't be able to take Jester on in a fight, but he thought he'd might be able to get away from her.

Jester stared at him confused. "But why would they leave me a sacrifice? You'd only do that for like evil things that won't leave you alone otherwise." Comprehension slowly dawned on her face. "Why would they think I'm evil?! I thought I was doing a good job fitting in. I did a bunch of funny pranks, and they'd given me a pet lamb and goat too. The village left them tied up by this pole."

Caleb was tempted to bite his tongue, but instead spoke up. "Those were probably intended as sacrifices too."

The not-demon sunk down to the ground the picture of despair. Caleb felt bad for Jester despite his better judgement. “But why?” Tears were welling up in her eyes.

“Because, people fear monsters, but they are also bad at recognizing them.” Most people didn’t realize that the worst monster around them was Caleb.

“I’m not a monster,” Jester the not-demon said wiping at her eyes. “I thought I could belong here.”

Caleb sighed. There was something incredible human about her. “Given that they drugged random passersby to sacrifice them to a whatever you are, you’re probably without them.” He stiffened. “Nott!”

“Not what?” Jester asked.

“My friend Nott. She was with me when they drugged me. I need to go find her. Who knows what they’ve done to her.” Caleb craned his head looking around. He had no idea where he was or where the village could possibly be.

A loud screaming came from the east. “CAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEBBBBBB!” Relief filled him.

“Nott!” Caleb headed towards the sounds of his friends screams.

Nott crashed out of the forest and into Caleb's arms. "CALEB! They were going to sacrifice you to a terrible demon that was plaguing their town! The villagers tried to lock me up in a jail cell, but I got out. It's going to be okay now ‘cause I'm here to rescue you!"

Caleb grinned down at her still holding the little goblin in his arms. "You certainly are."

"Your friend's a goblin," Jester gasped.

Nott sunk down trying to hide in Caleb's arms. "It's not illegal or anything."

"She's a good person. There's nothing to fear in Nott," Caleb said. "I don't know if I can say the same about you."

"I keep telling you, I'm not a demon," the not-demon said her whipping about in frustration.

Nott looked up at Jester and squeaked in fear. "Caleb! It's the demon!"

"She's not a demon," he said as Jester huffed with frustration behind him. Caleb wasn't sure that he entirely believed that. Jester obviously did, but Jester could easily be in denial. But Caleb did believe that she wasn't dangerous. "And she's not going to eat me." Nott eyed Jester a bit more. "Or you."

"I just wanted some pastries. I left note here and everything asking for some. I don't see how they could've gotten human sacrifice out of donuts," Jester said.

Nott frowned. "I might've seen it when I broke out. What did you write? Can you write it out for me?"

Jester started write in the dirt with a claw. "Here."

Caleb could barely read it thanks to the bright moon. "That's infernal. I can't read it."

"It says 'Thank you for the super cute goat and lamb. I'm naming them Sprinkle and Nugget. Please leave some donuts next time'," Jester said.

"Most people in the middle of nowhere can't read infernal," Caleb pointed out. "Actually most people can't read it in general."

Jester pouted and sunk down. "I know that now. Common isn't that common of a language." 

"Ja, that's what I keep saying," Caleb said.

Jester smiled at him and his heart fluttered despite the fangs. "Thanks." Her smile then faded. "I just thought I found a home here."

"Homes are very overrated," Nott said, "Me and Caleb travel all over the place. You could join us. It’s a lot more fun."

Caleb stared at Nott. "Are you sure?"

"Imagine all the cons we could pull with her," Nott whispered in Caleb's ear. "Besides, you've been lonely and could use a little friend."

Caleb’s face turned red, and anyways, little was the last word that Caleb would use to describe Jester. She was easily close to seven feet tall and at least twice as wide as Caleb. But there was something about the sad look on her face. "Ja, you're right. Do you want to join us, Jester?" he asked cautiously.

Jester's violet eyes widened. "Do you mean it?"

"Ja, it's safer in a group anyways." Though Caleb wasn't certain that it would actually be safer or if they’d just draw more attention to themselves by traveling with a not-demon.

Jester swept him and Nott up into a tight hug lifting them both off the ground. "Thank you! You are not going to regret this. We're going to be super good friends, I can tell."

A blush crept over Caleb's face again. "Really?" Caleb wasn't even sure that he could be counted as a good friend to Nott, but the idea of becoming friends with Jester was a nice one.

"Of course. I'm good at that sort of thing," Jester said. "Where are we going?"

"Well, before we go anywhere you'll have to let go of us," Nott said.

Jester dropped Caleb and Nott with a thump. "Sorry. So, um, where are we going?"

Nott smiled smugly up at them. “To Zadash!”


End file.
